Shameful feelings of self condemnation can be extremely harsh, especially when it is perceived that a deeply valued belief about what is and is not socially acceptable has been violated. The individual who feels shame engages in total self condemnation, whether other people are aware of it or not.Shame is much more powerful than guilt because feeling guilty is connected with a single act or behavior of which the person disapproves. Instead, there is awareness that some law or code has been violated in a single instance. It involves a complete judgment of the entire self as negative.There are many noteworthy things to say about the responses we have gotten so far on this issue of pornography but three questions stand out in my mind at this moment: 1.By far, the largest number of emails have come from angry and disappointed women. Men view pornography in secret and in isolation from their female partners. Rage: Clearly, many women are enraged by pornography and direct their wrath at their men.In addition to body image issues, women struggle with what is and is not acceptable about being sexual when you are female.To this day there remains the double standard that for men it is permissible to be sexual but for women sexuality represents being immoral and sinful.Would it not be better to try and understand what is happening here between males and females and, through that understanding, develop better ways to cope with this problem?
More than just viewing porn, these men are also masturbating. Why do otherwise good fathers and husbands engage in this self-isolating sexual behavior when they have a willing sexual partner available?
Yet, once married, women are expected to be sexual and erotic for their husbands.
These conflicted feelings are often less intense today, in the wake of the women's liberation movement, but they still persist.
The experience of shame is humiliating and includes feeling a sense of disgust and mortification about the self.
Both men and women experience feelings of shame around sexual issues but for different reasons.
None of this is mean to imply that the men who watch pornography have these problems.