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Spoiler Alert: Loud talkers, stubborn, make black-and-white decisions.

Where to find one: At a weird event with their friends.

Where to find one: Hanging with their one bro at a bar, probably not talking but smiling and and genuinely enjoying themselves.

ISFP-Why you want one: They’re the perfect person to talk about your work dramz with over a game of tennis.

Pickup techniques: Make aggressive but smart statements. Use historical examples but also throw in something about Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

ESFJ-Why you want one: Literally your standard bro or prototypical 'wife material.’Spoiler alert: They’re not that interesting.

Spoiler Alert: You’ll get tired of them making jokes about ninjas and Lord of the Rings. Where to find one: At their friend’s house drinking whiskey Cokes and watching Shark Week on the Discovery Channel.

Pickup technique: Wear something slutty talk about science/robots/the singularity.

Spoiler Alert: Followed to its logical conclusion, this personality type can also be called ‘sociopathic.' Where to find one: The clubbiest of clubs, near edge of the dancefloor where they’re looking to shove their tongue down someones throat for awhile and then have some aggressive sex before they leave without saying anything. Pickup technique: Is anyone really interested in this?


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